NBA: 8 players to surprise in the playoffs

Joey Dorsey will put on an exhibition and shoot 40% from the free throw line.

Does anybody miss Hack-A-Shaq? Back in the early 2000’s, when The Strokes ruled the airwaves and cargo shorts ruled the thighs of pre-teen boys, opponents of the dynastic Los Angeles Lakers chose to slow down the game by aggressively fouling the worst free throw shooter, and identified Shaquille O’Neal as their target. It was a practice already in use in the NBA, but the frequency of the fouling came into the mainstream with Shaq. The in-game result was some of the least watchable basketball in the NBA.

It is so much worse with Joey Dorsey. The backup Houston Rockets power forward provides the team with an essential inside presence as a rebounder and enforcer, but his abysmal 28% free throw percentage has teams salivating to kill the Rockets offensive possessions by fouling Dorsey.

The Rockets, and James Harden in particular, gain an advantage by taking advantage of the defensive discrepancies of the opponent. They draw a lot of fouls, and get seemingly cheap points while limiting the cheap points of the opponent. Fouling Joey Dorsey is a way to underhandedly destroy the Rockets’ possessions. It is a smart tactical move, but it diminishes the spirit of the game. Expect the Dallas Mavericks to foul Dorsey like it’s the cure for polio.

But Joey Dorsey is ready to shock the Mavericks, the Rockets and the basketball community at large. Dorsey will shoot a crazy 40% from the free throw line. It won’t be enough to make the Mavs stop fouling him, but it will be enough to lower Tylenol sales in Houston in a significant way.

A second round playoff series between the Clippers and the Rockets will shoot those sales up in no time. With Dorsey, Dwight Howard and DeAndre Jordan getting fouled and James Harden purposely trying to get fouled, a series might set a record for free throw attempts and inspire more people to try out hockey fandom.

Next: Derrick Rose