NBA Finals: 5 things to know before Game 5

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Jun 11, 2015; Cleveland, OH, USA; Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James (23) handles the ball against Golden State Warriors guard Andre Iguodala (9) during the second quarter in game four of the NBA Finals at Quicken Loans Arena. Mandatory Credit: Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports /

1. Nobody knows anything. Trust nothing

Let’s play the hottest new game show that’s sweeping the nation: Do You Remember These Dominant Hot Takes?

*crowd cheers wildly*

“LeBron needed to make that fadeaway jumper to win the series. All of Cleveland’s hopes went out the window when that game went to overtime. Golden State will win this in five games, no sweat. Sorry, Cavs.”

“Ha, all you people who counted LeBron out are fools. How many times does he have to prove to you haters that he’s a transcendent player. Oh, by the way, what’s up with the MVP? He looks a little shook out there.”

“Did one of the Space Jam monsters siphon all the talent out of Klay Thompson or something?”

*crowd screams for more*

“Draymond Green: What is he good for, again?”

“Matthew Dellavedova is putting together a performance that I will one day tell my kids about, because scrappy white guys doing well really satisfies and pleases me in a way that I don’t really want to examine at the moment, thank you.”

“Golden State doesn’t look like they ‘want to win.’ As someone with a degree in sports psychoanalysis from an online school, I feel confident in my diagnosis.”

“If LeBron doesn’t receive the MVP, even in the event that Cleveland loses, I’m calling the ACLU.”

*crowd rushes the stage in a frenzy, tearing down the set and trampling the poor camera crew*

“LeBron is dead on his feet. He is broken, like a machine, but also broken like a man with spirit. He is done. The Cavs are done. Let’s just call this thing for the Warriors and go home.”

“Matthew Dellavedova is utter garbage and I never said he was good. No, I did not delete anything from my Twitter account. Those tweets were never there.”

“You know, Usher’s national anthem was kind of good.”

As always, the lesson is simply: don’t trust the media. It’s not about outright lies; it’s about how misinformation in small, strategic doses distorts and hides the truth. Ask Shaq.

Next: 5 unrealistic dreams for the 2015 NBA Finals

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