Ranking the 10 ugliest NFL uniforms of all time
By Stu White
8. Miami’s Aqua-On-Aqua Uniforms
I can almost see the appeal of the aqua-on-aqua look the Dolphins like to sport on occasion. Almost. The coastal waters of Florida are clear and shimmering, at least when they are not dyed red with the blood of manatees who got a tad too curious about the whirring, spinning thingamajigs on the backs of a boats. The aqua-on-aqua look just screams Miami Vice, which is a TV show I have never watched but know about thanks to cultural osmosis. I want to be open-minded and say it is not a terrible look … but I can’t.
There is no way around it: these jerseys are not stylish. They make the players look like the Teal Power Ranger. You all remember his story arc: Unpopular with the other Rangers, Teal Ranger abandoned the group and went down to Miami in order to reinvent himself, but he became dangerously enamored with the club and party scene, eventually meeting his death thanks to misguidedly imbibing glow-stick fluid instead of water after becoming dehydrated during a 24-hour molly-aided techno dance-off. (He then came back as an even-more-teal Ghost Ranger, but that storyline is not canon.)
There is nothing wrong with having uniforms that dare to be colorful and shiny, but the all-aqua look is just a bit much. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, which is an observation I just came up with and will be trademarking very soon, so do not dare steal it from me.
Next: 7. Poor Jacksonville