Power ranking the 10 best snacks for football season
By Stu White
3. Trail mix
Trail mix? Trail mix?? What kind of hippie propaganda is this? What’s next, huh? Granola bars? Kale? Being conscientious of the wider ecological and environmental implications of food consumption? Hiking? I’m here on the couch and you want me to think about hiking? You can take that trail mix and send it back to the healthy hell from whence it came.
If the above represents your thought process upon seeing trail mix on this list, I am disappointed in you. Not mad, just disappointed. You should go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. Maybe even write an apology letter to yourself for having such an uninformed and close-minded opinion.
See, trail mix is one of the best game-day snacks because it evokes strong opinions, and we all know that having strong takes is one of the most important part of being a sports fan, right up there with rabid tribalism. A bowl of trail mix can spark debates that parallel sports debates. For example, some people love raisins and consider them a necessary part of any good trail mix; other people find raisins disgusting and believe that they ruin what would be a perfectly fine snack. Why, to me that sure sounds similar to the debate on if player-safety rules are helping or hampering the game of football! Some people dig through the trail mix, plucking out all the M&M’s. Boy, that sure sounds like a bandwagon fan!
When you think about it, trail mix goes well with football because trail mix is football. (Also, do you think the shade of turf you see is the same shade of turf I see? What if it is, like, different, man?)
Next: 2. Veggies and dip