5 worst Super Bowl ads of all time

1. Apple’s “1984” Macintosh ad

Oh ho ho, you probably though I was going to go with the 1985 “Lemmings” ad, didn’t ya? Nope. The famous “1984” ad deserves the top spot.

People talk about this ad in hushed tones, like it’s airing was a sacred event. People gush about its innovation, its brilliance, its thematic power. The amount of drool that’s been, uh, drooled over this ad is enough to fill a lake, if not a small sea. To hear some people tell it, the “1984” Apple commercial pretty much represents the pinnacle of advertising, if not art. Seriously, people published freakin’ retrospectives in honor of the ad’s 20th anniversary.

Spare me. The ad is overrated. Sorry, wannabe Mad Men of the world, but it’s true. Yes, it’s cool that Apple got Ridley Scott to direct the commercial. But beyond that is there really all that much here actually worth celebrating? Watch the ad again, this time without nostalgia-tinted glasses. Forget all the times you’ve been told how this ad “changed the game.” Look at it critically.

It’s unimaginative. It’s the highest order of trite and tonally confused. Enslaved citizens, fear not, for this upcoming material good will free you from… from… well, from all the ideological ways in which material goods are oppressive. Yeah, revolution, baby! That’s some brilliant material right there. Yup, the route to the liberation of both the body and soul totally goes through Macintosh computers.

Between the hokey seriousness and the invocation of one of the most dull, obvious books every high school student is forced to slog through, this ad is pretty damn lackluster. And the fact that it’s so thoroughly overrated makes it a prime candidate for the worst Super Bowl ad of all time.