The five worst people during March Madness

1. The Person Who Hates “One Shining Moment”

Finally, we get the most annoying March Madness dweeb of all: the person who hates “One Shining Moment” and can’t wait to tell you how deep his or her hatred runs.

Oh, this person is a basketball fan, perhaps even a big one, which means, when you put it most uncharitably, that this person experiences a visceral thrill from watching strangers — in this case young folks barely even old enough to regret their first voting mistakes! — toss a sphere through a net. See, enjoying that is totally cool, totally fine. Screaming at the television when a wide-eyed twentysomething bricks a late-game free throw? Totally normal and not at all pathetic. Wildly cheering as an entirely unfamiliar team knocks off a slightly less unfamiliar team? Par for the course. Totally acceptable.

But a corny song and highlight package? That is a bridge too far!

Look, “One Shining Moment” is cheesy. It’s manipulative and aims to tug the ol’ heartstrings in the cheapest way possible. Pointing that out isn’t a brilliant insight. And hating its cheesiness isn’t some informed stance. It isn’t an example of sophisticated taste. No, it’s the sort of performative cynicism employed by contrarian bores who mistake affected world-weariness and smirking, self-satisfied disdain for being interesting.

Seriously, how can you watch this and not like it, not feel even the smallest twinges of happiness? That’s some Grinch-level grumpiness.

Anyway, that concludes our look at the five worst people during March Madness. Stay tuned with us here at FanSided for all your tournament needs.