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33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

By Matthew Miranda

FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski
FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski /
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Aug 27, 2016; Baltimore, MD, USA; Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Keenan Reynolds (81) stands on the field before the game against the Detroit Lions at M&T Bank Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
Aug 27, 2016; Baltimore, MD, USA; Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Keenan Reynolds (81) stands on the field before the game against the Detroit Lions at M&T Bank Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports /

18. Keenan Reynolds

Keenan Reynolds is a zombie apocalypse triple threat, an apex-level grinder with exceptional boating chops adept at adapting to wildly-changing circumstances. A Navy man, Reynolds triple-option quarterbacked the Midshipmen for four years, setting an NCAA record with 88 rushing touchdowns, including an astonishing 31 as a sophomore. Drafted in the sixth round by the Baltimore Ravens, Reynolds is exempt from the normal five-year obligation Naval graduates face as long as he’s under contract to an NFL team.

He’s highly motivated to succeed at the next level, as demonstrated by his willingness to shift from playing quarterback in college to backup wide receiver and special teams player in the NFL. This shows an ease and a willingness to move on from the past and embrace the reality of the moment. A lot of people won’t survive the zombies because they’ll be hung up on the world that’s lost. The first part of survival is accepting new truths, no matter how unpleasant. Nobody dreams of living among zombies. No quarterback dreams of playing special teams.

It isn’t glorious, but it’s a means to an end, so Reynolds keeps grinding away, always keeping the big picture in mind. In a zombie apocalypse, with so much daily dreck and drama, you need someone to maintain that big-picture perspective. Keenan Reynolds is a clear-eyed pragmatist. Also, he’s a Navy man. At some point, you’re going to consider the seas safer than the land. You’re going to need a ship’s captain. Lead the way, Admiral Reynolds.

Next: Jameis Winston

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