33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

13. Brandon Marshall

When we talk about surviving a zombie apocalypse, we usually think of tangible threats. A horde of zombies cornering you. A single zombie suddenly popping out from around the corner. Roving bands of morally dubious human survivors whose last grasp on sanity snapped long ago. We think about the scarcity of clean water, the struggle to find food, and the lack of access to medicine — all significant dangers in an apocalypse. But even if all these threats were resolved, even if you somehow found yourself somewhere safe, clean and stockpiled, you’d still be in danger. Because people cannot live by bread alone. We need conversation. We need stimulation. We need Brandon Marshall.

At 6-foot-4 and a six-time Pro Bowl selection, Marshall has all the physical attributes you’d seek in an apocalypse buddy. He’s been called “a defensive lineman playing wide receiver.” But it’s Marshall’s gregariousness that makes him so valuable when society has disappeared. Marshall is beloved by the media because he’s the rare athlete who enjoys the media; in fact, Marshall is an analyst on Showtime’s Inside the NFL. Athletes jumping to TV is hardly newsworthy, but a still-active athlete doing so is, that’s something. Marshall isn’t just tough on the field; he has to be tough to be willing to talk about players he’s still competing against (and with). This guy’s not afraid of anything, and he’s the talkative sort. You’ll appreciate him on your long day-to-day strolls through the barren wasteland of a zombie apocalypse.

Next: Joe Thomas