33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

6. Richie Incognito

There are ugly truths to be faced in a zombie world. You know the way you look first thing in the morning, the look you don’t want people to see? That’s the best you’re going to look in an apocalypse. Your student loan anxieties will no longer exist, and yet you’ll miss the days when they did. And you’re probably gonna end up meeting bullies along the way. How you treat the bully goes a long way in determining how things turn out.

Treat a bully badly and you know you’re running into him tomorrow when he just happens to be with like a dozen of his most well-armed friends. Treat a bully nicely and he’ll begin to soften a little, and one night he’ll open up and tell you his story and you’ll understand Richie Incognito in a way no one will ever otherwise understand him. He may betray you or he may save your life in the most heroic way imaginable. Whatever he does, you need some Incognito in your apocalypse. It won’t always be pleasant — there’s a good chance a lot of it’ll be unpleasant — but you’ll learn something that comes in handy later, some self-awareness you might never have accessed if not for your days with Incognito.

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