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33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

By Matthew Miranda

FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski
FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski /
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Aug 13, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliot (21) smiles after the game against the Los Angeles Rams at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Mandatory Credit: Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports
Aug 13, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliot (21) smiles after the game against the Los Angeles Rams at Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Mandatory Credit: Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports /

28. Ezekiel Elliot

You’re going to need good luck to survive a zombie apocalypse, and you’re going to need the wisdom to know when to turn you back on conventional wisdom. You’re going to need some Ezekiel Elliot in you. Elliot, just 21, went from Ohio State to being drafted third overall by the Dallas Cowboys. That means Elliot left an elite college program for an elite NFL offensive line, putting him in great position to start his career off right. “I think I probably have one of the easiest jobs in America,” Elliot said. He’s going to take some hits, but he’s looking forward to it. That’s an apocalypse survivor.

Another reason you want Elliot in your survival squad: he doesn’t live his life based on fear. Recently Elliot was criticized by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones for visiting a marijuana dispensary before Dallas played Seattle in a preseason game. Jones said the optics of Elliot visiting such a store a few hours before game time were “just not good.” This is the same Jerry Jones who didn’t think signing Greg Hardy after the gruesome details of his violence toward an ex-girlfriend was “just not good,” the same Jones who ignores any whiff of impropriety so long as the person involved gets a paycheck from Jones. For 20 years now the Cowboys have struggled under their owner’s delusional sense of self. If Jerry Jones says don’t do something, Ezekiel Elliot is wise to do it. Contrarians make the apocalyptic world go round.

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