Ranking the top 12 deep-cut Jimmy Garoppolo tweets

After an impressive performance in New England’s season-opening win over the Arizona Cardinals, Jimmy Garoppolo finds himself squarely in the spotlight. You know what that means: Twitter-dumpster diving.

So grows the Legend of Jimmy Garoppolo. From freewheeling slinger at Eastern Illinois to Tom Brady heir-apparent, Jimmy G’s football trajectory has been as charmed as it is charged with speculation. Will he eventually be asked to permanently fill the shoes of Touchdown Tom, or is this four-game stretch little more than a trade-package audition?

Whatever the question marks, Garoppolo’s heady performance Sunday night — dealing for 264 yards on 24-of-33 passing and one, gorgeous sideline dime to newcomer Chris Hogan — whittled down the doubt as to the young quarterback’s long-term potential.

Still, a heightened profile inevitably invites greater scrutiny. Nowhere does this rule hold truer than on Twitter, where even the most diligent of skeleton deletions can’t prevent the occasional bone(r) from slipping through the cracks — a lesson Garoppolo done gone found out the hard way.

In honor of his G’s banished mentor, here are the 12 best deep-cut tweets unleashed by Jimmy G since 2012.

Why did we stick strictly to the past four years? Because if everyone had their pre-20 tweets counted against them, we’d all be behind bars.

12.

“Simone de Beauvoir? More like Simone de BEAU-RING!”

11.

Neither. Neither is better. This is not a choice human beings have to make.

10.

There’s a 100-percent chance this was written literally.

9.

Someone at Pixar just started writing the next great animated blockbuster, about a plucky, woebegone songbird born without a beak.

8.

He totally fell for that James Earl Jones death hoax.

7.

Yes. Scheduals can be hard…

… especially when they’re two-a-days.

6.

A birdbath is not a shower.

5.

I’m going with “sandwich.”

4.

Alright, that’s no-shit hysterical.

3.

I know Charleston, Illinois isn’t exactly Tallahassee on the college-town excitement scale, but holy hell… What if that lady’s the Mayor?

2.

i.e. a wad of hundreds at the bottom of a burrito bowl.

1.

It’s hard to knock the intelligence of anyone who can effectively grasp — and execute — the nuances of a Bill Belichick offense. Just don’t ever lock this guy alone in a shed full of frogs with a fully loaded BB gun, is what I’m saying.