Get Off My Lawn: Razors, Mattresses and Loyalty

Not sure why this annoys me, but every time I listen to a podcast it seems that I am being bombarded with an ad for a mattress, a razor of the month club, or a monthly snack subscription. What is equally annoying and perplexing is that they are never the same brands or companies. You can listen to a show one week and hear about Leesa Mattresses, then hear them go on and on about their love for Casper the next. If you aren’t shaving with Harry’s, then you aren’t shaving (except a day later when The Dollar Shave Club is making you question how you ever lived without their services before).

Let’s talk about razors.  I don’t get the razor game’s main selling point of it is a major pain to purchase razors and shaving cream. Is it really? I also keep hearing about this newfangled “shave butter.” Here is a tip for you, Bunky: buy a big old can of Barbasol. It costs about two bucks, comes in a few different flavors and works like a charm. In terms of razors, all you need is a single blade. Shave every day and be done with it after a week. A pack of those costs three bucks and you buy them once every couple of months. Uncle Bones doesn’t need a jelly of the month club for razors and a monthly deduction from my checking account to support a non-existent razor habit. Oh and a quick memo to the Dollar Shave Guy: you’re not funny and you come off as a bore in your dumb “viral” videos.

I also don’t get the mattress industry. This seems like something you might want to actually experience before buying. How often do people buy mattresses, and when they do, why would they ever buy something like this online? I can tell you that I still sleep on the mattress my wife and I bought when we decided to take the plunge (or quit life – depending on how you look at it) and move in together.

Now that I am done complaining about the actual product – I started this post by talking about the loyalty factor. Back in my day, radio and television shows had a single sponsor that they stuck with. I always equate Howard Stern to the rise of Snapple and Larry King to Welch’s Grape Juice. Now there is absolutely no show/brand loyalty and it is enough to make your head spin. I am no marketing wiz, but I bet this doesn’t help with the effectiveness of the ads.

Let’s say I decided to get a new mattress – I have no clue where I would lean, but something tells me I would end up at good old Sears and be lying on a series of testers checking on their firmness and getting hair lice. But there is the chance I would give Leesa a try if it was the single brand that I had repeated in my head every day. Repetition and consistency is an advertiser’s friend. At some point you actually need something and the hope is that  – more often than not – your decision is going to be influenced by your commercial exposure. The constant change kills that action. But I do realize that marketing budgets are being squeezed because there are more places to get the word out – thus increasing the affordable reach but crushing the frequency.

Wait a second – don’t I write for a sports blog? Maybe I should submit this post to some Marketing Guru’s website and ask to be be a featured presenter at the Next Social Media Jedi Guru Hackathon. Now if you excuse me, I need to go check on my portfolio through Betterment, give my dog a treat from Bark Box and cook a dinner from Blue Apron for my family.

Get off my lawn.