Amar’e Stoudemire gives an apology that doesn’t fix anything
On Wednesday afternoon Amar’e Stoudemire said something very stupid. While talking with an Israeli reporter, Stoudemire answered a question about having a gay teammate, saying (h/t NBC Sports) :
"“I’m going to shower across the street. Make sure my change of clothes are around the corner. And I’m going to drive — take a different route to the gym.”"
Stoudemire found himself skewered for the response, and his inevitable “apology” arrived on Thursday. I put apology in quotes because what he gave wasn’t much of one.
"“I want to apologize for my offensive comments against the LGBT community. These remarks were taken from a larger interview where a reporter was asking me hypothetical questions, and all my answers had a comedic undertone. The answers I gave were meant to be taken as jokes & I am deeply sorry for offending anyone. I am open to creating a dialogue to assist the fight the LGBT community encounters daily and will continue focus on playing basketball”"
This just flat out isn’t good enough. The main problem is Stoudemire’s thought that his incredibly disrespectful words are okay if they were “jokes.” As if that somehow eliminates the impact they have on people all around the world.
A few years ago, my then-14-year old sister told me she was gay. As someone who despises sports, she probably never would have heard about Stoudemire’s ignorant comments, except for the fact I made sure it was okay with her to write this article. Because as happy as she is most days, my sister still can’t always be completely comfortable as herself and as an older brother it bothers me to no end. Moments like Stoudemire’s “jokes” are part of the reason. Intolerance anywhere is a threat to tolerance everywhere.
There isn’t anything funny about being gay. And there especially isn’t anything funny about painting anyone as some type of sexual predator. Those words have power. For kids who follow basketball and see Amar’e’s words. For those who see them and brush them off and for those who feel emboldened in their intolerance go to school and repeat those statements. And, espeically, for those who haven’t come out yet and are trying to decide if it’s safe to let family and friends know who they are, and just be themselves.
I know from watching my sister being young and gay is hard enough right now. There are still people she hasn’t told because she isn’t sure how they will handle it. And the numbers of times she has had to bite her tongue at casual ignorance is unfair for a teenager, or anyone really. (Author’s note: I called my sister last night before writing this article. She gave me her blessing to include her in it. Because she wanted to combat ignorance. Because my sister is the best and mature beyond her years.)
Next: You, me, and CJ McCollum
So, no, Amar’e Stoudemire’s apology isn’t good enough. It isn’t even close. He clearly doesn’t get what he actually did wrong beyond making people mad, which is the real problem here. Hopefully, there is going to be some learning coming for him, and some compassion coming from him. And soon.