Top 5 drug testing performances of the NBA season

4. Russell Westbrook after every game

It’s tough to narrow down one performance from Russell Westbrook that stands out as a “drug test game.” Should I pick the game where he had a 40-point triple-double? Or that other 40-point triple-double? How about the 50-point triple-double? How about the game where he had 22 assists and pulled off the Shamgod? Or the triple-double in 19-minutes? Westbrook doesn’t even have to have a good game to be drug tested. It would be fair to drug test him after games where he shoots 16 3-pointers or doesn’t have a triple-double, just to see if things are different from when he has a triple-double game.

That would be a great scientific study. What changes between the good games and the bad games? Is he taking something different when he decides to shoot the ball 40 times a game as opposed to the games where he racks up 15+ assists? I’m not sure testing the urine of Westbrook would be quite enough to understand this man. The NBA may have to adopt a whole new policy where they perform some type of brain scan after the game on him.

Come to think of it, I’m not sure I want Westbrook tested. I think we need something deeper than a drug test to understand him. Can we have a psychological doctor follow him around 24/7? I need to know how much his routine changes on a game-to-game basis. All Thunder fans need this because I’m sick of spending hours analyzing Westbrook with my friends, trying to figure out why one game he’s passing on every possession and the next he’s shooting every possession. Things would be so much easier if I could just say, “well, he shot 10+ 3-pointers because he ate less than 15 fries for lunch.”

Point is, Westbrook is always testable. Good or bad. When he’s good, you want to know what he’s taking. When he’s bad, you want to know what changed.

It’s just going to be really weird when his test comes back green from drinking nothing but Mountain Dew.