Man vs. Beast: 10 NFL players, animals that should fight each other
By Carly Regehr
8. Tom Brady vs. Madagascar Cockroaches
Fighter Statistics
Tom Brady: 6-foot-4, 225 pounds
Cockroaches: 2-3 inches long, weighs under an ounce
Advantages
Tom Brady: 6 Super Bowl rings
Cockroaches: ability to multiply (females lay 300-400 eggs at once)
Disadvantages
Tom Brady: does not like insects, pampered
Cockroaches: lack of size
The influence behind a Madagascar cockroach fighting Tom Brady lies within the Atlanta Zoo losing a bet. Before Super Bowl LI, zoos in New England and Atlanta came to terms that, who ever wins this year’s Super Bowl, either of the two zoos would have to name an animal after the winning team’s quarterback. Unfortunately for Atlanta, they would play the victim and would later name a cockroach after Tom Brady.
With that covered, let’s dive into the fight card. The obvious victor arising from this uneven duel is Tom Brady, but there’s some love to be given to the little guy. Although it eats only plants and, therefore, wouldn’t harm a human, cockroaches are still one of Earth’s best-known pests.
The ability to get under one’s skin, especially Tom Brady’s, is too easy of an opportunity to pass up and Brady just might get irritated enough to surrender. If the roach ends up losing, Tom Brady’s house might need to call Orkin, especially if the roach is a sore loser and is a believer in revenge.