Man vs. Beast: 10 NFL players, animals that should fight each other

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Feb 5, 2017; Houston, TX, USA; New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (12) celebrates after beating the Atlanta Falcons during Super Bowl LI at NRG Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 5, 2017; Houston, TX, USA; New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (12) celebrates after beating the Atlanta Falcons during Super Bowl LI at NRG Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports /

8. Tom Brady vs. Madagascar Cockroaches

Fighter Statistics

Tom Brady: 6-foot-4, 225 pounds

Cockroaches: 2-3 inches long, weighs under an ounce

Advantages

Tom Brady: 6 Super Bowl rings

Cockroaches: ability to multiply (females lay 300-400 eggs at once)

Disadvantages

Tom Brady: does not like insects, pampered

Cockroaches: lack of size

The influence behind a Madagascar cockroach fighting Tom Brady lies within the Atlanta Zoo losing a bet. Before Super Bowl LI, zoos in New England and Atlanta came to terms that, who ever wins this year’s Super Bowl, either of the two zoos would have to name an animal after the winning team’s quarterback. Unfortunately for Atlanta, they would play the victim and would later name a cockroach after Tom Brady.

With that covered, let’s dive into the fight card. The obvious victor arising from this uneven duel is Tom Brady, but there’s some love to be given to the little guy. Although it eats only plants and, therefore, wouldn’t harm a human, cockroaches are still one of Earth’s best-known pests.

The ability to get under one’s skin, especially Tom Brady’s, is too easy of an opportunity to pass up and Brady just might get irritated enough to surrender. If the roach ends up losing, Tom Brady’s house might need to call Orkin, especially if the roach is a sore loser and is a believer in revenge.