Fansided

What each NBA coach would be doing if he wasn’t an NBA coach

By John Buhler

Apr 25, 2017; Houston, TX, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder head coach Billy Donovan coaches against the Houston Rockets in game five of the first round of the 2017 NBA Playoffs at Toyota Center. Mandatory Credit: Thomas B. Shea-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 25, 2017; Houston, TX, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder head coach Billy Donovan coaches against the Houston Rockets in game five of the first round of the 2017 NBA Playoffs at Toyota Center. Mandatory Credit: Thomas B. Shea-USA TODAY Sports /
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Nov 20, 2016; New York, NY, USA; Atlanta Hawks head coach Mike Budenholzer looks on during the game against the New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sports
Nov 20, 2016; New York, NY, USA; Atlanta Hawks head coach Mike Budenholzer looks on during the game against the New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sports /

Mike Budenholzer: Owner/Bartender of Bud’s Food and Spirits

In a far away land known as Scottsdale, there is a dive bar where everybody almost remembers your name. Ever since former college point guard Mike Budenholzer hit that shot against that team in the tournament, he has been a local legend in the Greater Phoenix area.

After playing minor league basketball for a few years, Budenholzer decided that it was time to retire from hoops at 25 and begin his new career selling hops. With the help of his fame as the guy that made the Bud Shot for State, Bud opened up his own watering hole in the Valley of the Sun.

Since none of his patrons can spell or even pronounce Budenholzer, he just became Bud over the years. Guys from all over the continental United States come to Bud’s Food and Spirits to get a little food and a lot of spirits. Frequent patrons include a high school remedial math teacher, Jim Carrey’s body double, a Top Gun flight instructor and a struggling bowling alley manager that is obsessed with forming his wall.

Bud has never heard of Sam Malone and doesn’t think that Ted Danson is that great of an actor. However, he does concede the fact that Three Men and a Baby is the best movie from the 1990s. How did they do it? Bud is also not sure of who exactly The Gang is, as he has never been to South Philly. He does have an Uncle Frank that likes to make rum ham back in the kitchen.

In a part of the country where the sun is ever present, Bud is ever present behind the counter of his local drinking establishment. Though he gets tired of talking about the shot he hit for State in the late 1980s, Bud will gladly talk about it when it’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday as the regular crowd shuffles in.

Bud is always good to his customers and they are thankful for it. Instead of saying last call at around 2:00 a.m., he will shout out his trademark phrase, “it’s time to make the donuts!” The guests at Bud’s know that he’s got donuts to make for the earliest of risers. You’re never lonely at 3:00 a.m., especially when you have to make donuts in the sports bar you own. It’s cool, Bud doesn’t sleep very much anyway. He might secretly be Tyler Durden. Just saying.

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