The 10 greatest mustaches in NBA history

MASCULINITY

In the 1980s there was one mustache that stood lip-and-whiskers above the rest — it belonged to the face of a Hawaii-based private investigator by the name of Thomas Sullivan Magnum the fourth. Magnum’s mustache oozed masculinity like a hollowed-out pineapple full of whiskey. And by the time the last of 158 unforgettable episodes of Magnum P.I. aired, the expectations were irrevocably raised for every mustache that would follow.

NBA players felt the pressure to produce magnum-sized mustaches too, of course. Throughout the 80s, journeyman Chuck Nevitt did his best imitation of Tom Selleck, and — by the end of his career — his pushbroom was a passable copy. Rickey Green and Charles Oakley both had very muscular moes too, and James Edwards went bigger with his bushy handlebars than any player before or since.

The NBA’s early international influence brought along some Lithuanian lip luggage courtesy of Arvydas Sabonis and Sarunas Marciulionis. Meanwhile, NBA washout Ramon Rivas had a sort of low-brow/high-brow combo reminiscent of Kid Ray.

But nobody in the NBA did the 80s mustache more perfectly than John Lucas did (still does, really). Lucas’ mustache was undeniably the focal point of his face — it was arguably the focal point of the whole city of Houston — because his lip hairs somehow grew longer, thicker, and darker than the hair on top of his head (as only a 35-year-old mustache could do). Lucas could bench press at least one hundred pounds with that muscle-stache, and that’s truly impressive.