The 10 greatest mustaches in NBA history

EMPOWERMENT

A mustache can be a brand of self control — a flag planted on the facial landscape that says “I own this philtrum and I’ll grow whatever I want on it.” Men feeling unempowered — by a stressful work environment, a domineering spouse, or parents who just don’t understand — may manifest feelings with facial hair.

Kevin Ollie played for 11 teams in 13 years. Aside from a short stint in Philadelphia, he never started consecutive seasons in the same place. He went from Dallas to Orlando to Sacramento and back to Orlando; from Philadelphia to New Jersey and back to Philly; then thru Chicago, Indiana, Milwaukee, Seattle, Cleveland, and Philly again; and finally from Minnesota to Oklahoma City. Yikes. Think of the packing-peanut bills.

All those life changes were stressful; Ollie’s mustache was the one constant — a security blanket for his face.

Andre Miller was another frequent mover — playing for nine different teams — and he too resorted to the skinny stache. Penny Hardaway turned to mustaching after career-altering knee injuries. Shaun Livingston had a traumatic knee injury AND played for nine teams — a skinny-stache double whammy. Stephon Marbury had his own demons.

Carmelo Anthony’s move to New York in 2011 bolstered the career of his wife La La, an aspiring actress. Years later, Anthony is still languishing on a bad Knicks team, stuck dealing with the weird machinations of team president Phil Jackson. Sadly, La La and Melo are now estranged; but through it all, his furry facade has remained, a silent assertion of personal agency.