Fansided

The 10 greatest mustaches in NBA history

By Todd Whitehead

INGLEWOOD, CA - CIRCA 1987: Artis Gilmore
INGLEWOOD, CA - CIRCA 1987: Artis Gilmore /
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Jan 4, 2016; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia 76ers associate head coach Mike D’Antoni prior to action against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
Jan 4, 2016; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia 76ers associate head coach Mike D’Antoni prior to action against the Minnesota Timberwolves at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports /

AUTHORITY

Mustaches are synonymous with authority. That’s why police officers like them. Same for drill sergeants. And vice principals. They also work well for coaches.

Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has “built a f—ing wall” between his nose and his mouth, a mustache wall. Thunder assistant coach Maurice Cheeks once had a thick mustache, but now he has a faint one. Clipper assistant coach Mike Woodson is famous for his perfectly formed goatee, but I bet his players respected his short-lived mustache more. Raptors coach Dwayne Casey wears a good mustache, too.

A handful of other current coaches have a smoke filter hidden somewhere in the murky shadows of their past. Would young coaches Jason Kidd and Earl Watson demand more respect from their players if they brought the mustaches back? I’m not sure. But Portland coach Terry Stotts should definitely consider reviving his blonde perm-gold chain-mustache combo, it was fantastic.

Mike D’Antoni waved goodbye to his lifelong best friend this season. I assume it was a voluntary decision on his part; but I’m not ruling out the possibility that James Harden’s beard ate it. Regardless of what inspired the change, that thing is definitely growing back.

D’Antoni reached legend status as a player in Italy — he won five league championships with Milan Olympia, finished top-5 in the LBA for career assists and steals, and was named the best point guard in league history. To show their gratitude, the Milanese fans called him “Il Baffo,” THE MUSTACHE. That incredible nickname is grounds for automatic inclusion on this list.

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