Fansided

30 replacements for Roger Goodell

By John Buhler

Feb 6, 2016; San Francisco, CA, USA; American actor Jeff Goldblum on the red carpet prior to the NFL Honors award ceremony at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 6, 2016; San Francisco, CA, USA; American actor Jeff Goldblum on the red carpet prior to the NFL Honors award ceremony at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports /
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Dec 1, 2013; New York, NY, USA; American actor Ben Stiller and son Quinlin Dempsey Stiller sit next to American director Spike Lee at the game between the New York Knicks and the New Orleans Pelicans Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sports
Dec 1, 2013; New York, NY, USA; American actor Ben Stiller and son Quinlin Dempsey Stiller sit next to American director Spike Lee at the game between the New York Knicks and the New Orleans Pelicans Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Anthony Gruppuso-USA TODAY Sports /

29. Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander

Ben Stiller is a funny guy, but he’s not quite good enough to be commissioner of the NFL. However, when gets into character and magically becomes Derek Zoolander, he becomes really, really, really ridiculously good looking and he’s there.

Zoolander has impeccable public speaking skills. His Eugoogly from Brint, Rufus and Meekus’ funerals proved to the world that Derek was ready to give up male modeling to help other people that need help. Technically, the NFL needs help.

Though he doesn’t know any of the teams’ names or who to spell them, Zoolander does appreciate the big match from time to time. Zoolander is keen on getting all the sponsorships that Goodell never could. With Zoolander calling the shots in the NFL, Starbucks, Diet Coke and expensive moisturizer companies would give the NFL a significant portion of their advertising budget to what Derek can do with it.

With one look, Zoolander will be able to captivate everybody in attendance at the NFL Draft. When he unleashes magnum on the sad city that will never get a Super Bowl, even the angriest of Eagles fans will appreciate the picks that the Cowboys made before them. Levying punishments is not Zoolander’s cup of tea, but the uniforms of all 32 franchises will have never looked better.

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