30 replacements for Roger Goodell
By John Buhler
27. Jeff Goldblum
The Pittsburgh Steelers have definitely left their footprint on the NFL. So why on Planet Earth would arguably the most intellectually-brilliant Steelers fan in the form of actor Jeff Goldblum not be a top-tier choice to be NFL commissioner? Have you ever seen The Fly? Absolutely breathtaking.
He did star in Jurassic Park. People that like the NFL might also like dinosaurs. Relatability, yes! Goldblum was in Independence Day and the NFL plays almost all of its games in America. Check! He played that scientist that knew some stuff about space to Harry Caray that one time. That helps.
Let’s not forget that it is virtually impossible to rent an apartment without thinking about the financial impact Goldblum has had on the renting community over the last few years. Who needs Rocket Mortgage when you’ve got Apartments.com?
Goldblum speaks in a vernacular that is swarmy, verbose, but enigmatic, mysterious and majestic like wolf lamps. When he introduces the 20 to 23-year-old kids that get drafted into the NFL, it will be like listening to the greatest dictionary ever assembled. The NFL would be smarter and therefore better with Goldblum as the commissioner. Also, he probably should have won a lifetime achievement award for his role in Independence Day. Just saying. We were all thinking it.