NBA Free Agency 2017: 5 offseason targets for the Los Angeles Lakers

1. Kris Humphries, Atlanta Hawks

Things have been far too quiet in Calabasas recently. Apart from some Kanye-Trump drama and the West’s announcing a surrogate for their third child, not a lot has happened. My proposal: Kris Humphries to Los Angeles. Just enough tension to make it into a few episodes of the 14th season of Keeping up with the Kardashians, but not enough to manifest into anything real. Like all of the best reality TV things.

Humphries is looking for another chance in the league after failing to make an impact for the Hawks last year. The 13-year veteran (and ex-husband of Kim Kardashian) can still get to double-digit rebounds per 36 minutes, so it’s not like we’re asking Magic Johnson to throw away money here. Humphries could be an emergency backup big, help this young team in practice, and spend off-days stirring up drama with the Kardashian clan.

I would pay money to see a standoff between Kanye, wearing that bright gold Kobe tribute shirt outside the Lakers’ practice facility, and Humphries, still in a practice shirt. Kanye starts talking about Disney or Google or Nike, Humphries whispers something about lost dreams. The two raise their fists without any intention of throwing hands, and finally someone notices. It’s Magic. The Lakers’ President walks down a flight of stairs, flashes a big toothy smile to the camera crew, and says “Fellas”. The fight breaks up. Episode 1408 is complete. Back to work.

Next: NBA Free Agency 2017: One trade every team should make

Humphries skirts through the rest of the season, visibly rattled, but grabs rebounds anyway. He appears in 26 games, collects his $6 million check and retires to the Montana countryside, heard from only in re-runs of episode 1408 on E!. If the goal is to give the youngsters room to improve, there are worse ways to use your cap space. Give Humphries this chance.