What would top soccer players be worth in Adam Smith’s barter economy?

Gareth Bale: 97 Artillery Pieces

Gareth Bale is one of Britain’s greatest players. While he seems to get injured every year, he always comes back, chugging along. Often down but never out. When he’s not hobbled by injury, he’s also surprisingly fast for his size. Not to mention his skill at striking from a distance.

Almost like a self-propelled artillery piece. But he costs way more than an a mobile field gun.

To break down the value, we had to use some pretty inexact numbers. Basically, it’s estimated that one AS-90 cost the British government about $2 million. Gareth Bale is due to earn $194 million by the time his current contract is up. Do the division, and you could build almost a hundred AS-90’s for the price of one Gareth Bale.

Of course, getting your hands on a battalion’s worth of mechanized weaponry would be problematic at best. At worst you might end up in one of those jails where they can neither confirm nor deny your incarceration. So it would probably be best to clear this trade with the relevant authorities before embarking on this ambitious barter.

As to what Real Madrid would want with all these weapons is anyone’s guess. Maybe they could use them to annex Atletico Madrid and take Antoine Griezmann by force. Or just lob shells at anyone who says that La Liga isn’t a high level of competition. It would also help convince Ronaldo to stay.

Oh yeah, and for the record, AS-90’s are not tanks. They are self-propelled artillery pieces. There’s a difference.