Fansided

10 people you meet at the first college football game of the season

By John Buhler

August 27th 2017, Allianz Stadium, Sydney, Australia; College Football Sydney Cup; Rice University v Stanford University; Standford Cardinals linebacker Ryan Beecher celebrates with fans after the game; (Photo by Nigel Owen/Action Plus via Getty Images)
August 27th 2017, Allianz Stadium, Sydney, Australia; College Football Sydney Cup; Rice University v Stanford University; Standford Cardinals linebacker Ryan Beecher celebrates with fans after the game; (Photo by Nigel Owen/Action Plus via Getty Images) /
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FORT WORTH, TX – DECEMBER 03: A TCU Horned Frogs fan watches the game during the game between the TCU Horned Frogs and the Kansas State Wildcats on December 3, 2016 at Amon G. Carter Stadium in Fort Worth,Texas. Kansas State beats TCU 30-6. (Photo by Matthew Pearce/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
FORT WORTH, TX – DECEMBER 03: A TCU Horned Frogs fan watches the game during the game between the TCU Horned Frogs and the Kansas State Wildcats on December 3, 2016 at Amon G. Carter Stadium in Fort Worth,Texas. Kansas State beats TCU 30-6. (Photo by Matthew Pearce/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images) /

The Jaded Senior

This person doesn’t want to be here. Nobody knows why he has to be so morose all the time, but you’re stuck with this pessimist or Debbie Downer for another two semesters. They have complained their entire lives about everything. The J-j-j-jaded Senior comes from a long line of whiners. You’re getting sick of them.

Every fall they bet against the school they reluctantly cheer for. They’ve wanted to run the coach out of town every season since freshman year. Four years of intense ridicule has resulted in this guy you once thought was cool is now a complete malcontent.

He keeps talking about how cool that internship in Manhattan was with that Big Four accounting firm and how he’s going to make six figures right out of the gate. When he goes on his rant about he’ll be a millionaire by 30, the game starts and everybody starts to tune out the moper. It’s game day. It’s about feeling good all the time.

The very instant the redshirt freshman quarterback throws an interception that wasn’t his fault, J-j-j-jaded throws in the towel on the season, citing it as a lost cause. He is there to be the perpetual buzz kill from September through the conference games. This is a guy you’re just not going to hang out with post-grad. He’ll be too busy trying to be a millionaire, while you’re having fun with out J-j-j-jaded.

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