Basket Ball Z: The NBA’s finest and their Dragon Ball counterparts

LaVar Ball — Hercule Satan

That’s right, we’re starting this list with a pair of Big Ballers! Hercule Satan is a World Martial Arts Champion with a hilarious a penchant for hyperbole and a flair for the dramatic. He also has an immaculate afro/horseshoe mustache combo, which only adds to his preposterous antics. Compared to the Z Fighters, he has no actual martial arts skills. Like literally none; he gets demolished by Cell in one punch on live television:

After Gohan saves the earth from Cell though, Hercule Jedi mind tricks the whole planet into thinking that he was actually the guy that beat Cell. Although Mr. Satan is essentially a professional wrestling heel, his daughter Videl is a legitimately talented fighter. She’s tougher than her dad, but Hercule always feels the need to protect her (to the best of his meager abilities).

This all sounds eerily familiar, minus that part about saving the universe. What I’m trying to say is that Mr. Satan is a quintessential Big Baller, which makes him a perfect match for LaVar Ball. LaVar’s brashness and his micromanagement of the Ball brothers’ budding basketball careers have turned him into a polarizing, albeit universally recognizable media figure. The guy is undefeated, he’s never lost! He’d destroy Michael Jordan! LaVar might have no actual basketball skills compared to his sons, but he definitely makes the NBA world a more fun place. If only he had Hercule’s mustache game…