Fansided

Every Winter Olympic sports perfect theme song

By John Buhler

WENGEN, SWITZERLAND - JANUARY 12: Matthias Mayer of Austria in action during the Audi FIS Alpine Ski World Cup Men's Combined on January 12, 2018 in Wengen, Switzerland. (Photo by Alain Grosclaude/Agence Zoom/Getty Images)
WENGEN, SWITZERLAND - JANUARY 12: Matthias Mayer of Austria in action during the Audi FIS Alpine Ski World Cup Men's Combined on January 12, 2018 in Wengen, Switzerland. (Photo by Alain Grosclaude/Agence Zoom/Getty Images) /
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SOCHI, RUSSIA – NOVEMBER 12, 2017: Anastasia Bryzgalova and Alexander Krushelnitsky of the Russia 1 Team compete against Magnus Nedregotten and Kristin Moen Skaslien of Team Norway in the final of the Sochi International Mixed Doubles event of the 2017/18 World Curling Tour (WCT) at the Ice Cube curling centre. Valery Sharifulin/TASS (Photo by Valery Sharifulin\TASS via Getty Images)
SOCHI, RUSSIA – NOVEMBER 12, 2017: Anastasia Bryzgalova and Alexander Krushelnitsky of the Russia 1 Team compete against Magnus Nedregotten and Kristin Moen Skaslien of Team Norway in the final of the Sochi International Mixed Doubles event of the 2017/18 World Curling Tour (WCT) at the Ice Cube curling centre. Valery Sharifulin/TASS (Photo by Valery Sharifulin\TASS via Getty Images) /

Curling: “Push It” – Salt-N-Peppa

I think what curling has been missing in America is pretty obvious: hip hop influence. Though you have to do it on ice, it’s not like you have to go outside to do it. Everybody has played some variation of shuffleboard in their lives. And everybody knows about that song about pushing it real good.

Salt-N-Peppa didn’t know it at the time, but they 100 percent created the official unofficial song of American curling. “Push It” is more of a metaphor about something else, but for the sake of competition, it’s totally about curling and whatnot. Odds are, if you dress like Salt-N-Peppa while you curl, you’re just not going to lose. Intimidation factor for sure.

Frankly, the next time the United States hosts the Winter Olympics, I think we need to play “Push It” on infinite loop so that it becomes the greatest American sports song since the U.S. Men’s National Team decided that they believe that they will win. Well, that didn’t work, because we ain’t going to Russia this summer. Sad times.

But whatever, this is the sport that the United States needs to take over. We’ve never going to be better than Canada at hockey. Just put a bunch of curling clubs in random metropolitan areas and in one generation we’ll dominate. If collegiate beer pong skills translate to this, yes, I think we’ve got a chance at gold for years. We gonna push it REAL good.

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