Every Winter Olympic sports perfect theme song

Figure Skating: “Por Ti Volare” – Andrea Bocelli

If you’ve ever seen Step Brothers and ever tried to throw your own version of a Catalina Wine Mixer, you know what song is the most important when it comes to figure skating. This song is more majestic than Brennan Huff’s wolf lamp, as “Por Ti Volare” by the incredible Andrea Bocelli has to be this Winter Olympic event’s unofficial theme song.

Figure skating is something Will Ferrell “did” to get ready for Step Brothers and mostly Rob Riggle going Pow! all the time. Though he never had the dance moves of Napoleon Dynamite or the howitzer of a right arm like Uncle Rico (who does honestly?), he can sing and Dale Doback can play the best accompanying percussion that no strictly 80’s Billy Joel cover band can touch.

For the folks that aren’t familiar with the beginnings of Prestige Worldwide, this song is about as beautiful as the Grand Canyon. I mean, in English it’s titled “Time to Say Goodbye”, which is pretty sad, man. Now imagine every figure skating having to dance for us to this instead of some Celine Dion overplayed garbage. Yeah, I’d pay at least two Schrute bucks to check this event out.

This is one of those songs that even those pesky Russian judges would be agreeable on. Figure skating is way too political and it should be about the ice dancers, people! Nothing will go more to the efforts of perpetual figure skating unity than “Por Ti Volare”. Besides having Phil Collins behind the kit, when do yo get drums better than this? The answer is you don’t.