Fansided

One player on each NHL team that should be traded

By Jeremy Lambert

MONTREAL, QC - JANUARY 07: General manager of the Montreal Canadiens Marc Bergevin addresses the media prior to the NHL game at the Bell Centre on January 7, 2018 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. The Montreal Canadiens defeated the Vancouver Canucks 5-2. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images)
MONTREAL, QC - JANUARY 07: General manager of the Montreal Canadiens Marc Bergevin addresses the media prior to the NHL game at the Bell Centre on January 7, 2018 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. The Montreal Canadiens defeated the Vancouver Canucks 5-2. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images) /
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BOSTON, MA – OCTOBER 9: Matt Beleksey #39 of the Boston Bruins warms up before the game against the Colorado Avalanche at the TD Garden on October 9, 2017 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Brian Babineau/NHLI via Getty Images)
BOSTON, MA – OCTOBER 9: Matt Beleksey #39 of the Boston Bruins warms up before the game against the Colorado Avalanche at the TD Garden on October 9, 2017 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Brian Babineau/NHLI via Getty Images) /

. LW. Boston Bruins. Matt Beleskey. 29. player. 70

Can the Boston Bruins even trade Matt Beleskey at this point? Probably not. He suffered a broken orbital bone in the minors, dropping his trade value to less than zero.

But this slideshow is all about players that teams need to trade. And the Bruins, someway, somehow, need to trade Beleskey. Scratch that. They don’t need to trade Beleskey. Because that’s not realistic. Here’s what they need to do instead.

They need to build a time machine. That’s right. A time machine. They need to build a time machine and travel back to July 1, 2015 at around 9 a.m. ET. They need to intercept Don Sweeney in the middle of his morning coffee. Prevent him from getting on the phone with Beleskey and his agent. Tell him that, despite Beleskey having 22 goals in the prior season, he’s not worth a five-year deal. Let him know that Beleskey is 27-years-old and that his 22 goal performance is more likely the exception, not the norm. Hammer it home to Sweeney that Beleskey is not a late bloomer and that his 15.2 shooting percentage is not sustainable. Allow the other 11 rumored teams get into a bidding war. Make it a point to tell him that it’s a weak free agent group and that he should not overspend as a result. If all that fails, take away his morning coffee so he misses his phone call with Beleskey.

Need a new St. Patrick’s Day Bruins hat? Fanatics has you covered.

Yes. That’s it. You can’t trade Beleskey. It’s nearly impossible. But a time machine. That’s 100 percent plausible.

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