Which James Bond would win a gold medal in biathlon?

5. Roger Moore

Roger Moore was James Bond more than anybody else. He appeared in seven-straight Bond films. But few people really think that he’s the best James Bond. The reason for this was that he was kind of a complainer and totally the least athletic of the Bonds to appear on the silver screen.

Now, Moore would shoot pretty good. Like, I don’t think he’d miss a target. Just give him that Moonraker laser beam gun and see what happens. Now, THAT I would tune in for. However, speed would not be his cup of tea in terms of cross-country skiing. He’d take like a break every other kilometer, you know to keep appearance looking alright.

The only way that would put some pace to Moore’s cross-country skiing efforts would be if Jaws was chasing him down with a chainsaw or something. Yeah, that would put some much-needed pep in Moore’s lackadaisical step. I would not want Jaws with a chainsaw and metal teeth chasing me down either.

Since we’re not going to allow Jaws in this competition, as the Jamaican bobsled team has already fulfilled the “entertainment purposes” clause of the Bond Olympic Biathlon, Moore just does not seem like he’d really be all that into winning the competition. He’ll finish fifth with a perfect day shooting, but will look good doing it. Man, did he crush George Lazenby out of the gate though.