25 TV Dads that would make elite MLB managers

Randy Marsh

Have you seen the South Park episode “The Losing Edge”? It highlights the excitement of baseball and how every kid wants to spend their entire summer playing America’s Pasttime. That’s not the real story of the episode, though. The real story is Randy Marsh fighting opposing fans.

That’s what you want from your baseball manager. You want a guy who is going to go out there and punch Aaron Bleepin’ Boone in the face if that’s what it comes down to. The only problem with this strategy is that consistently fighting with other managers will get his team disqualified, I think. I’m not sure that’s a written rule in baseball. “Constantly picking fights with opposing managers will result in your team losing the game.” But it’s probably one of those unwritten rules we hear so much about in baseball.

Also, I assume he’d be kicked out of the league if he has more than five fights during the season. Who cares. It’d be entertaining.

Best Fit: Miami Marlins

No one cares about the Marlins. They are openly tanking. There’s even a tank in outfield of their ballpark. That’s the most blatant example of openly tanking I’ve ever seen. They need some sort of gimmick to put butts in the seat.

A fighting manager will put butts in the seat.

Plenty of MLB teams have done this over the years. The Chicago Cubs plucked a kid out of the stands and made him their starting pitcher. He got a Coke deal and everything. The Mets are hoping Tim Tebow is just competent enough to where they can bring him hope at the end of the season to sell some extra tickets.

A Marlins-Athletics game sounds like the worst way to spend a Saturday night. But if I’m promised the Marlins manager and Athletics manager are going to fight. In the words of Elton John, “Saturday’s alright for fightin’.”