Fansided

Which NFL players would make the best Fortnite gamers

By Bruin Belisle

Baltimore Ravens Ray Lewis prepares to take the field against the Jacksonville Jaguars at EverBank Field in Jacksonville, Florida, on Monday, October 24, 2011. (Lloyd Fox/Baltimore Sun/MCT via Getty Images)
Baltimore Ravens Ray Lewis prepares to take the field against the Jacksonville Jaguars at EverBank Field in Jacksonville, Florida, on Monday, October 24, 2011. (Lloyd Fox/Baltimore Sun/MCT via Getty Images) /
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FOXBOROUGH, MA – JUNE 5: New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick arrives at Patriots minicamp at the Gillette Stadium practice facility in Foxborough, MA on June 5, 2018. (Photo by John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
FOXBOROUGH, MA – JUNE 5: New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick arrives at Patriots minicamp at the Gillette Stadium practice facility in Foxborough, MA on June 5, 2018. (Photo by John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images) /

New England Patriots – Bill Belichick

Partly because I refuse to write a single nice thing about Tom Brady and also because Belichick is the one behind all of the cheating.

Hacker! Cheater! There’s no way this guy is playing fair!

You’ve heard it before both in the game and on the field as the Patriots have a reputation for bending the rules as much as possible, much like there are some people in Fortnite who can get around the rules with some computer magic that makes them untouchable.

The Patriots have been the gold standard over the better part of two decades now and the rest of us are pretty sick of it. It doesn’t help that they have been busted twice for skirting the rules with some questionable moves by “management” (we all know Brady was behind deflategate).

Belichick has no idea what Fortnite is. Guaranteed if he was asked about it he would make up a stupid name like he did when asked about Facebook a couple years back to boost his persona of a hard-ass who doesn’t have time for anything but winning football games.

“No. I don’t play Fortgame.” He would say, in the dullest, most annoying monotone voice you’ve ever heard. It’s all an act.

Meanwhile, he’s hired a team of the world’s top hackers to give him automatic wins every match he plays in. It’s June and I’m already upset about the Patriots. Not good.

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