What your summer basketball jersey says about you

1990s nostalgia

These are the crown jewels of summertime basketball jerseys. A perfect storm of an era fondly remembered for the play on the court, the superstars it produced, and the mass production of Champion brand replica jerseys that are still easy to find and cheap on eBay. These jerseys turn us into Roundball Rock humming machines whenever we see them.

Shaquille O’Neal: You’ve got a great collection of hip-hop cassette tapes if you could only remember where they are.

Charles Barkley: You think you’re funny. And a lot of other people think you’re funny. And sometimes you are actually funny. But a lot of the time you’re saying weird things you actually believe and other people mistake these beliefs for jokes. That helps you skate through life without getting in too much trouble.

Larry Johnson: This is the VH1 I Love The ’90s of jerseys. This choice tells people you want them to ask you about your collection of Starter jackets and shark tooth snapback hats. You make sure those hats match your sneakers before you step out the door.

Reggie Miller: You need to avoid any public gatherings with the person wearing the jersey below this.

Patrick Ewing: You need to avoid any public gatherings with the person wearing the jersey above this.

Arvydas Sabonis: This is the best possible jersey choice to make. You’re creative, you’re knowledgeable, you’ve got a great sense of humor. You have a rare skill of being able to tell other people why they should appreciate something without coming off as pretentious.