5 Stages of Grief: How to recognize someone with an NHL postseason problem
By C.L. Kohuss
3. The Stew
You haven’t seen him in three days. You know he’s somewhere in the house, because you hear the phrase “Unbelievable” being repeated over and over again on an endless loop. There’s tension, and you feel that a storm may be on the horizon. You thought his anger had passed. I mean, he’s already broken the knickknacks you received from your grandmother’s will.
What more could he possibly do?
Nothing. He’s just sitting in his room stewing, thinking about how much different the series would have been had his team shot the puck three more times, despite being outscored 48-2 in five games. If only he had been there. “Yeah,” he ponders to himself. “That would’ve made the difference. Next year I’ll go and my team will know I’m there and because I’m there they will play harder and score more often.”
This is also the stage of delusion. But hey, you can’t tell him that. He’ll keep sipping that beer the same number of times between plays thinking its butterfly effect will lead his team to glory.
It is here that the healing process may begin. But let’s be honest, NHL fans never fully heal.
You knock on the door. “Do you want to get dinner?”
There’s a long silence. Finally he says, “I don’t even care.” What the hell does that even mean?
Key phrases to listen for:
“Whatever. WHATEVER!”
“Ugh. Just, ugh.”
“I’m never watching hockey again.”
“What is the point of existing if only to be stricken with such an infertile body?”
“Might as well be a Sabres fan.”