A Bachelorette Investigation: Who was in the windmill with Hannah?

Hannah has had sex in a windmill and it’s going to be a big part of the next Bachelorette episode. Who was it with, though? Let’s find out.

When Hannah was talking about having sex in a windmill (twice) in The Bachelorette‘s next episode preview, fans immediately started to wonder who the suitor was. Most assumed Jed, as there was a windmill on his date in Amsterdam, but the door swung wide open earlier today, and you know what they say about assuming.

Let the investigation commence.

The next episode of The Bachelorette features the glaringly obvious and predictable blow up between Hannah and Luke P. that has been coming since the first episode aired. He’s a dud. She’s blinded by his manipulation and lies. He’s controlling. She is free-willed and strong. It took Hannah a long and winding eight weeks to realize he is garbage but let’s applaud her for getting there. She’s having just as difficult a time watching it unfold on TV as we are.

A huge topic of discussion during the fantasy suite episode preview was how she had sex in a windmill, not once, but twice, with another contestant. Initially, you may have thought that this would have occurred while the group was in the Netherlands. As it turns out, Mykonos, Santorini and presumably the rest of Greece is peppered with windmill hotel room rentals. Her windmill date came during the fantasy suite episode, before the date with Luke P. (keep that in mind for the next episode).

Until then, let’s try to figure out who the windmill lover is. Here is the case for each remaining contestant.

Luke P.

Impossible. Luke doesn’t have sex until marriage! Unless you count all of the sex he chased in college where he was in a great position to, and I quote, “take advantage” of the women around him. Luke, you probably could have picked a better phrase while calling yourself a man whore in the introductions.

It wasn’t Luke, obviously. Let’s not waste any more time on this massive waste of our time.

Pilot Pete

Propellers are a lot like windmills. It was Pete! Hannah has been known to “befumble” her words before. Perhaps she couldn’t think of the word propeller and went with windmill instead? These two have been very physical throughout their Bachelorette relationship and sex under/in/around an airplane would probably be on-brand for Pete.

As much as I want it to be Pete, there is zero evidence of him being windmill guy. Scrolling through his social media feeds leave us with nothing of note in terms of this investigation. I did find this, though.

Heart-eyed emoji face. #PetesMom4Bachelorette.

Jed

If Jed didn’t write a song about it, did it really happen? Look out, multiple ladies, a new single could be in the works for Jed if he ends up being the one who had windmill sex with Hannah. Most fans thought it was Jed, given his Amsterdam date that featured a windmill in the last episode. This is still a possibility but chances are Hannah would have waited until the fantasy suite episode. If she didn’t, that’s totally fine. She’s a grown woman and Jesus still loves her. It does make her church date with Luke P. afterward hilarious, though.

We’ll give Jed a 25 percent chance of being windmill guy. If that seems low, it’s because the actual windmill guy all but confirmed it was him on social media.

Tyler

A very interesting story came via Tyler’s Instagram account. A very interesting story that would insist that either he is teasing all of us or he is, in fact, windmill guy. After an interview with Nick Viall, Tyler posted this:

Boom! This post alone has to mean he is our man. It would be a little weird to joke about something like that if it happened between your girlfriend and her other boyfriend, especially if Hannah chooses that other boyfriend. Hypothetically speaking, though, if Hannah chose Jed, she wouldn’t be joking around with Tyler about this online. So it has to be Tyler, and you have to think Tyler has a good chance at winning in the end because of this.

Conclusion

Tyler is windmill sex guy (and the winner of The Bachelorette).

There’s still so much Bachelorette left. Windmill fun, the contestant who “bought a ring,” the Luke breakup and subsequent meltdown and an After the Final Rose that is going to come crashing down like Haley’s comet if Hannah chooses Jed over Tyler or Pete. (I know this isn’t a scientifically correct statement, but you get it.) The best of this season is yet to come.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC.