Bachelorette recap: Hannah crushing Luke was this season’s most satisfying moment

Hannah finally snapped out of it and sent Luke home and The Bachelorette is setting up for an intense finish. Here’s your fantasy suite recap.

Hannah had this week circled in her Bachelorette calendar for some time now. Her season-long scouting mission comes to fruition tonight, as she gets to take the next step in her relationships with two of the four men remaining. One of which was in a windmill. Twice.

We also finally get to see the end of Luke P. tonight, which I covered in an earlier post. We’ll try to stick to the positives tonight, though, because that earlier article came off a little harsh and had to be dialed back by my editor (thanks Mia). Hannah was the star of the Luke date tonight and it was as satisfying as we all hoped it would be.

The strangest part about fantasy suite night is Chris Harrison personally inviting each bachelor into the Bachelorette’s room. Could they not have Hannah write the notes herself? Why does Chris need to be involved? Pilot Pete is up first and given their day at the spa a few weeks back, intimacy isn’t going to be an issue between these two.

Fantasy suite Pete

Would it be a date on a boat if no one did the “king of the world” quote from Titanic? We’ll forgive Pete because he’s adorable and unfortunately, fully in love with Hannah. Too many things are going well/happy for Pete, which means he probably isn’t going to win.

If you’re following along with the Peter “drama” online, you know he was dating someone nearing the filming of the show. Please do not put him in the same category as Jed, though. From the sounds of it, these two were dating but Pete broke it off a few days before the show. Key word: before. He wasn’t texting her as he was boarding the plane, telling her he loves her or leaving notes for her saying to wait for him. Like someone…

Oh my God! Pete is windmill guy! Propeller Pete, our adorable pilot took that condom from the center console of his car and put it to good use in a windmill-turned-AirBnB with Hannah. Maybe this isn’t news to some of you but I don’t read the Reality Steve stuff. I was 95 percent sure it was going to be Tyler, so this is a shock to me. Congrats Pete, you win the social media moment of the season.

Tyler’s fantasy suite

I was wrong about Tyler being windmill guy but I was not wrong about Tyler being the best guy left on this show. If you thought there was a single thing wrong with Tyler before tonight, his speech to Hannah before their fantasy suite visit should put that to rest.

This guy might be the greatest Bachelorette contestant of all time. He has no flaws. He is built like a Greek God, he’s handsome, he’s supportive to his friends, loves his family, has a very great family (Tyler’s dad was the star of hometowns) and he respects the hell out of everyone. Tyler is too perfect. Are we sure Hannah likes perfect? She kept Luke around this long. She says she likes Jed’s singing. Obviously Hannah isn’t really into “perfect.”

https://twitter.com/addie_cakes_/status/1150930253650583553

Hannah isn’t as far along with Tyler as she is with the others and for the life of me, I just can’t figure out why. Hannah is the self-proclaimed “hot mess express” and Tyler is the exact opposite of that. Let’s call him the totally together train. So yeah… It just wasn’t meant to be.

Jed’s fantasy suite date

Okay. Jed’s having an issue with Hannah dating multiple men at the same time. Excuse me? Granted, his concerns revolve around Luke, which makes them understandable, but Jed is the one with a girlfriend (who he asked to wait for him). Say what you will about Luke but at least he’s single (that’s the only nice thing we’ll say about Luke tonight). Anyway – Now you know why none of us like you, Jed.

Jed decided to bring up Luke during the dinner portion of their date. Pete didn’t ask about him, Tyler didn’t ask about him, but Jed did. Jed is still playing the Luke drama game on fantasy suite night and in doing so, he’s bordering on shaming Hannah for keeping him around.

Jed. We all feel you. You said exactly what we were all thinking. The only problem is that you are the one bringing it up and you’re bringing it up at the worst possible time. This is doing nothing for your singing career. Get back on track! We have songs to write, buddy! Eyes on the real prize! Find a guitar! Nashville desperately needs another singer!

During the dinner portion of the date, Jed decided it was time to give Hannah a condescending speech about her personal choices. Apparently Haley was a real gem of a person (probably is) because Jed is not happy that Hannah has “a hard time letting go of the things that aren’t good for her in her life.” Wow, man. You — the guy who couldn’t even let go of his two girlfriends at home — are going to give Hannah this speech?

Jed gets the fantasy suite invite, obviously, because he sucks. Let’s hope there’s a piano in there for Hannah to be serenaded with. Oh wait! Jed won’t sing anything without the cameras on him. We should be spared from any further Jed suffering tonight.

Remember how awesome and natural Pete’s date was? Remember when the worst part about it was the corny “king of the world” quote? Remember when they had sex, twice, in the windmill? And when there was no issues whatsoever? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Jed and Hannah’s suite was also about 30 times bigger than Pete’s windmill and Tyler’s boat. What’s up with that? Did Jed’s agent pick the date locations?

Luke P.’s date

The moment we’ve all been waiting for. The back half of this episode has been awful. Hannah had two incredible dates in the first hour, then she spent date three talking about the guy coming up in date four and date four dealing with something she should have figured out in week two. It’s been tough to watch, but once again, no one is having a harder time than Hannah.

“It was good to meet people that loved you.” – Hannah to Luke about his hometown date.

Yeah. It was good to meet the only people who love Luke because through this entire process, we have yet to meet one person outside of his family that does.

We’ve seen the rest of this. Luke told Hannah that she can’t be having sex with these other guys. Hannah finally clued in and sent him home. Luke’s speech was insufferable so I won’t make you live through it again. He has his beliefs and we have ours. It’s sad that he felt like he could control Hannah through this process. I’m not sure how the producers got it to start raining, but that was a nice touch.

Our Bachelorette went from Hannah B. to Hannah Beast real quick when Luke wasn’t getting into the limo. She was giving him a respectful send off but he wouldn’t shut up. She turned on the jets and brought up the windmill and it was every bit as satisfying as her sex in the windmill was (probably). Props to Hannah for really laying into him. It was the moment we all needed to see. The moment we were waiting all season for. He’s finally gone.

Or so we thought…

Next week on The Bachelorette

As great as Hannah’s speech to Luke was, he is too arrogant to let that be the end of his story. Luke comes back next week. That’s fine. We all get to see Hannah torch him once again. Oh, and Tyler, who could not be a more perfect human, putting him right in his place.

Goodbye Luke. You’ll forever be remembered as one of the most annoying villains in Bachelorette history.

The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC.