NXT UK recap, August 28: The not ready for Cardiff Players

Joseph Conners wins a match

The “DIABOLICAL” Joseph Conners turns up to take on the debuting Oliver Carter and *checks notes, re-watches the tape, confirms with a third-party investigative firm* wins the match? There’s something you maybe didn’t expect to read.

Apparently Conners is the UK analog to Kassius Ohno in NXT Prime, because Conners really doesn’t like being passed over for opportunities by Johnny Saint’s “shiny new toys.” An easy solution to getting passed over: stop losing to the new guys when you challenge them. Taking that to heart, Conners finally takes a step in a positive direction, pinning the debuting Carter.

Oliver Carter looked good, an athletic and agile striker, but Conners for once resembled the methodical and sadistic guy the announce team is always hyping him as. At one point he like, somersaults over a prone Carter, grabbing his head as he passes, wrenching his neck. Who even thinks to do that? A methodical and sadistic man in snakeskin patterned tights, that’s who.

Gaining momentum late in the match, Carter went for a Lionsault, though don’t tell WWE we’re calling it that. He had gone for one earlier in the match, but landed on his feet after Conners rolled out of the way. This time, Conners still rolled out of the way, but Carter went for broke, crashing and burning on the mat. Then Conners hoisted him up and hit one of those weird finishers where, when you think about it, the person executing the move is actually doing a move to themselves, for the win.

With a mouth full of blood, Conners stared deeply into the middle turnbuckle in triumph. It works as a visual. Stick with those snakeskin-looking tights, and Conners might actually be headed someplace that’s not getting mocked on an NXT UK recap post for FanSided dot com.