Bachelor Heroes and Villains, Week 6: Kelley is immune to the villain edit

In which Bachelor Nation refuses to accept a villain edit of our queen Kelley.

Increasingly it seems like everyone on this show is their own worst enemy. Last week, I decided that Bachelor villainy was defined by interpersonal acts of aggression. You can’t be a villain for being super annoying, you can’t even really be a villain for spending all your time with Peter talking about other women, even if that is cardinal sin no. 1. To be a villain, you have to do something evil. Like spread lies or steal someone’s champagne or sleep with four people’s husbands. Whoops! Getting ahead of ourselves.

Anyways: On to this week’s heroes and villains, but first, our recognition of the power of editing, though increasingly it seems irrelevant to this season!

The Bachelor is a bananas over-produced and absurdly edited reality TV show. The contestants on the show are real people, putting themselves out there for love and/or IG followers. (No shame in that game.) Most of us cannot and do not know these people and who are they really are. The Villain Edit is real and no one — no one — can possibly ever be as evil as Luke P.



Dear, sweet Kelley, you were to mature for this world. Kelley called it like it was until the end (Hannah Ann is a child; Victoria F. is a hot mess) and despite the producers best efforts to give her a mini-villain edit with all those shots of lounging, smirking and generally seeming over and above it, no one — not a single Bachelor Nation soul — was buying it.

Kelley forever.



Kelsey and Natasha both expressed “I hope they don’t come back” desires about the other women whilst lounging, but that seemed like a fairly realistic reaction and mostly in fun jest that was edited for money quotes. Whatever! Other than that, the ladies were fairly self-contained this week so there was a lot of opportunity for them to get into malicious hijinks.

That said, the joy Kelsey and Madison expressed when Hannah Ann and Victoria F. were revealed to be the two still around (thus, joy at Kelley being sent home) was vicious. And hilarious.


Bringing out a rose to wave in Natasha’s face before sending her home was cruel.

Bringing Victoria F. all the way to a damn car before asking her to stay was cruel.

Peter, what are you doing here? What are any of us doing here?

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