The Whiteboard: Flaming hot NBA takes to shake your long-weekend hangover
By Ian Levy
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The Tuesday after a holiday weekend is a hazy alternate world. Luckily we have some flaming-hot NBA takes to jolt you back to reality. These takes have been gently massaged with the individual ghost pepper seeds and steeped in Bud Heavys, for extra heat and that distinctive sour aftertaste that comes from ill-considered opinions.
Rajon Rondo is the Scottie Pippen to LeBron’s Michael Jordan
In the nonsensical conversation about whether LeBron James is a Michael Jordan or Scottie Pippen, Rajon Rondo has been the missing variable. He rejoined the Lakers rotation in this series after recovering from a hand injury suffered early in the bubble and Los Angeles has outscored the Rockets by 18 points in the 53 minutes he’s been on the floor. In case you don’t have a calculator handy, that means the Lakers are minus-25 in the 43 minutes Rondo has been on the bench.
In the case of LeBron, specifically, he’s played 35 minutes with Rondo scoring 29 points on 10-of-17 from the field with 10 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 blocks and 2 steals. Rondo is the skeleton key that unlocks LeBron’s brilliance. When they’re together, LeBron is the GOAT. Separate them, and LeBron is just a souped-up Bo Outlaw.
Fat Jokic was better than Skinny Jokic
This one doesn’t even need to be explained. Just watch the games, bro-ham.
The Boston Celtics will be remembered more fondly than the 2008 team
The 2008 Celtics team featured Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. It delivered a ring to Pierce, solidifying his Boston legacy. It cemented Garnett as one of the all-time greats. And Ray Allen was there too. But they were all grumpy — Garnett scowling and Kendrick Perkins mean-mugging. They weren’t likable. Not like these Celtics, there are the Celtics every NBA fan of any team can get behind. Kemba Walker’s brilliant smile, Jaylen Brown’s brilliant defense and Jayson Tatum’s brilliant jumper are turning the entire world into Celtics’ fans. There are no heels here folks, the Celtics are going to be America’s team.
Giannis Antetokounmpo can’t be the best guy on a championship team
Forget the fact that the Bucks haven’t actually been eliminated from championship contention this year. Forget the fact that they’re dealing with the emotional weight of what’s happening in Kenosha. Forget Mike Budenholzer’s stubborn refusal to increase Giannis’ minutes or change his schemes to get him more touches in the middle of the floor on the move, instead of pounding the ball beyond the arc against a static defense. Forget the fact that Giannis has been injured and is still somehow averaging 21.8 points, 11.0 rebounds and 5.3 assists per game, 50.8 percent from the field. Forget the fact that he’s likely to win his second MVP, after leading his team to consecutive seasons on a 60-win pace, and become the first player since Hakeem Olajuwon to win MVP and Defensive Player of the year in the same season.
If the Bucks are eliminated by the Heat, it is clearly a referendum on his own individual shortcomings and nothing else. The only viable path left to a championship in the next decade-plus of his career would be forcing his way to the Warriors this summer.
The 76ers should have kept Jimmy Butler and won a championship this year
It’s simple additive reasoning. The Miami Heat are going to win the championship this year and they are going to win it because of Jimmy Butler. If the Philadelphia 76ers really loved winning and not just nerding out on ESPN’s Trade Machine, they would have just kept Butler and took the title for themselves.
Chris Paul, James Harden and Russell Westbrook will all be first-ballot honorees for the Overrated Basketball Hall-of-Fame
Combined, they have a billion points, a billion assists and a billion epic playoff flame-outs. If they were as good as everyone says they are, surely they’d have won a ring by now.
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