Braves on the verge of completing unique MLB history

If you think bunting is still awesome, good look telling that to the 2022 Atlanta Braves.

From the same MLB franchise that brought us Chicks Dig The Long Ball, the Atlanta Braves present to you Bunting Is For The Losers.

There was a time when giving up an out to move a runner over was smart baseball. But in the day and age of the launch angle, that notion went to the wayside faster than multipurpose stadiums. Bunting the ball onto the carpet was a great way to set yourself up to play some Whiteyball, alright. But for a man who loves the shift as much as Brian Snitker, don’t ask him to sacrifice bunt!

Through 154 games, the Braves have not had a sacrifice bunt because they are world champions!

If you want to see the 2022 Atlanta Braves bunt a guy over, you can just get out!

It doesn’t matter if every position player is playing on the first-base side of second base. You pull that baseball as if your life freaking depended on it! As the left sides of infields have quickly become the gross equivalent of free kicks in soccer, there is not a better time to do something unprecedented than right now. The defending World Series champions should punt on bunting like it is their job.

So if the Braves remain steadfast to the notion that bunting is for the weak over their next eight games vs. the Washington Nationals, the New York Mets and the Miami Marlins, they will be champions of the full-swing mentality. Bunting is what you do when you lack Iggy Pop Raw Power, as you cannot make the ball splash into Chattahoochee Falls because you’re Iggy Pop-Tart.

I mean, only losers and stooges bunt. It’s not a real cool time. No fun to be had and no one wants to be your dog. So as you seek and destroy another baseball, look for that one to land down on the street like Jorge Soler’s did in Houston way back in Game 6. Regardless of if the Braves repeat in the NL East this season, can we PLEASE get a banner to commemorate such a splendid occasion?

As the shift leaves our lives forever, may we always remember those free-swinging 2022 Braves.