Ohio State football: Way-too-early game-by-game predictions for 2023

The turtles could strike the fear of god in the Buckeyes, but they are no half shell

You better Fear the Turtle, alright. Mike Locksley took his Old bay-infused mayo bath coronation to go on a Beamer Heater of a lifetime. With Taulia Tagovailoa back more times than chicka-chicka Slim Shady, the Terps are going to be more than a handful. They almost won in The Shell a year ago, but inside of The Horsehoe, they will be of the half-shell variety missing some turtle power.

Winner: Ohio State (5-0)

Ryan Walters is a promising head coach, but Purdue is not winning its division

Look. I really like the Ryan Walters hire by Purdue. Once Louisville opened up, we all knew Jeff Brohm was coming home. Prying Bret Bielema’s top assistant in division should keep the Boilermakers interesting. However, new head coaches going through growing pains are not going to be strong enough to catch these Buckeyes napping, even if they are drawing them at home.

Winner: Ohio State (6-0)

Had this game been in Happy Valley, Penn State would show us that they are

Along with the Notre Dame game, this is the big one to watch. Penn State won the Rose Bowl a year ago. Although they are upgrading at quarterback with Drew Allar finally taking over for the ageless Sean Clifford, Ryan Day continues to have James Franklin’s number. If this were a night game in Happy Valley, the Buckeyes could lose. But this one is in The Horeshoe, so let’s go State!

Winner: Ohio State (7-0)

Luke Fickell is going to need some time to make these stinking Badgers ferocious

Former Ohio State player and interim head coach Luke Fickell is back in the Power Five, albeit at a different place than we ever expected. Wisconsin is looking to go with a vertical passing game for seemingly the first time ever. This could work out marvelously or blow up in Fickell’s face like Bret Bielema’s Arkansas experiment. The Badgers will jump around, but they will be losing by so much.

Winner: Ohio State (8-0)