2023 NFL Draft: 5 rookies who landed on perfect teams

Sam LaPorta can be a fricking powerhouse of a tight end for Dan Campbell, man!

I don’t know if this was articulated in the Detroit Lions‘ war room beforehand, but it sure feels like Brad Holmes decided to let Dan Campbell do whatever the hell he wanted to in the draft, man. Whether it was reaching on Alabama running back Jahmyr Gibbs at No. 12 or making Iowa linebacker Jack Campbell a first-round pick, it was some fricking weird stuff out of Detroit, man.

However, I really liked the Lions’ second-round pick by double-dipping into the Hawkeyes program with Sam LaPorta, man. Detroit traded away a former Iowa tight end in T.J. Hockenson to a fricking division rival, man, only to bring in another one of Kirk’s Dawgs that his son couldn’t coach out of a wet paper bag, man. You’re doing great,

Sweetie

Brian! But yeah, LaPorta should be a beast, man.

Campbell is a former tight end himself and bringing in copious amounts of glorified Iowa line meat is exactly what we were hoping for, man. LaPorta becomes the new safety valve for Jared Goff, while the ageless Hendon Hooker works his way back from a bad knee injury, a poor S2 score and playing in a gimmicky offense that might be the 21st-century version of the Run and Shoot, man.

Andre Ware sounds great in the college booth, but LaPorta has some real fricking potential, man.