What made baseball fun this week: We’re living in Ronald Acuña Jr.’s world, Pirates no longer stink!

Oh, my god! We’re having a fire … sale!: The Oakland Athletics can’t even win a fifth of their games…

One of the few principles I abide by in life is for someone to be good, someone else has to be bad. The Dude Abides to this pretty far out philosophy, man. Rugs may tie rooms together, but the Oakland Athletics are tying themselves into a Gordian Knot of WTF is that?! I haven’t seen someone be this confused by something this much since Jeremy Pruitt learned about asparagus.

I mean, they can’t even win a fifth of their games, which seems f*****g impossible in MLB today.

The A’s are clearly wearing plastic bags for space helmets. For better or worse, they unzipped me. I am like Frank Reynolds in therapy being reminded of all the absolutely atrocious youth baseball teams I played on. I was on a team that tied one game, and that was it. Should the A’s up and relocate to Las Vegas, may they leave those white cleats behind, along with their rat infestation.

…And Out Come the Wolves, I know. The East Bay is not having a good time right now. It is a shame that Gilman Street has higher attendance to see some crappy high school band than the MLB club down the road. Even if that group becomes Operation Ivy, Rancid or god, even Green Day, the A’s will sell them out to make five bucks. They have won six games since Cinco de Cuatro.

All I know is that I don’t know nothin’. This totally putrid baseball team stinks, and there is no hope.

But what about the fans??? | The Dude of the Week, man