Big Ten Football: 5 incredibly early bold predictions for the 2023 season
By John Buhler
4. There will be a 30 for 30 based on how badly it ends for The Ferentzes in Iowa
What if I told you Brian wasn’t doing a great job, Sweetie, and that you cannot Kinnick Wave yourself out of an absolutely offensive tire fire? I don’t know when this ends, but I do know that is doesn’t end well. It will smell like burnt popcorn alright, as the Iowa Hawkeyes drag us through one more year of hellish offensive ineptitude. Cade McNamara be damned, this will not work out.
Whatever goals Brian Ferentz needed to achieve on his gold sticker flow chart, he won’t get there, just like the Hawkeyes won’t get to Indianapolis. The only thing that will rival the utter dysfunction in Iowa City across major college football will be the snake oil-infused grease fire raging down in College Station. Misery loves company, am I right? Regardless, there is only one man to save them.
With John Calipari doing his best sales job to date, Mark Stoops will decide he has had enough of the bluegrass nonsense. Like LeBron James did that one time, he’s coming home. No, he will not be a Youngstown State Penguin, but with the power of the ghost of Hayden Fry, Stoops will bring a level of SEC toughness to an Iowa program that constantly underachieves and then lies about it.
Not saying he will need to grow a Fry-inspired mustache, but Stoops will look utterly magnificent.