5 college football rivalries we so need out of the even bigger Big Ten

3. Washington Huskies vs. Maryland Terrapins: The Map Test

For all you zit-faced twerps out there who can’t drive a car yet, I’ve got a rivalry for you. Since you and I both know you don’t go outside because the world is absolutely frightening, you are going to have the worst time ever with The Map Test. Is Maryland vs. Washington right next to each other or on other coastlines? We will never know! Just ask Colin Cowherd about these major challenges.

There will be seafood, there will be football and there will be confusion. When Genesis wrote the Land of Confusion to troll the Ronald Reagan White House, this is exactly what Phil Collins and the boys had in mind. Puppets be damned, we’re getting this rivalry game no matter how much jet fuel it’ll cost us because when I think of Washington, I think of Maryland and vice versa. The Map Test!

While there are a bunch of dang vidya games to play, phones to look at and outsides to avoid like the plague, The Map Test will be like light to moths for teenagers. They scare me, and they should scare you, too. But you know what? Now is the best time to go outside for the first time. You don’t even have to learn how to ride a bike, you can just sit there and complain like any proud American.

This emerging rivalry game may not do a number, but it will do a number on high school freshmen.