It had to have been a real treat for Noah Eagle to have been in the same Nickelodeon booth with Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star. The male inseparables from Bikini Bottom helped take in Super Bowl 58 in Las Vegas as part of the Nickelodeon simulcast. Well before the game really took off, Eagle helped explain to Patrick and Spongebob what Iowa is and what it has to do with punting.
If mayonnaise was an instrument, then Iowa would play every bowl game possible in Charlotte for the right to dunk a vat of watered-down Duke's Mayo atop of Kirk Ferentz's unwilling head. Three yards and a cloud of punt, as the old adage goes. Well, with their powers combined the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers did their part to make the football world know all about "exotic" Iowa.
No Power Five program has brought us more sick and twisted joy over the last several years than the Imitation Steelers. Like Pittsburgh, they don't really care about newfangled offensive widgets and gizmos. If it was good enough to run back in 1950, it is good enough for me now. Like a Cuban car, they just don't make football teams like the used to. For now, Bikini Bottom knows about Iowa City.
When punting is winning, we all win, as us Sickos. For this to air on Nickelodeon made it even better.
The amount of children who want to grow up to be punters will be reaching an all-time high after this.
Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star learn about the Sickos Committee
I would be lying to you if I didn't know someone in my youth who loved punting as much as he loved Spongebob Squarepants. My childhood best friend grew up wanting to put the ball into the sky for the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets in between watching countless re-runs of Spongebob in between scarfing down slices of pizza, but never the crust because that is just gross. There are dozens of us!
That may have been a calling card for people like Tobias Funke who didn't think anyone would understand, but those dozens of people from two decades ago have multiplied into the thousands. No, I am not talking about denim cut-off enthusiasts, but rather us Sickos! Bad NFL football is a terrible product, but even slightly mediocre college football, oh, that stuff butters our biscuits, bruh!
I try to watch Iowa play every Saturday for merely three reasons. Punting, rampant nepotism and preparing myself toward watching the Steelers the following day. If I don't pay attention at all, I just think Pittsburgh is having just another miserable time moving the ball with Kenny Pickett at quarterback. Let's be perfectly clear to those from Bikini Bottom. Iowa and Pittsburgh are so different.
While punting is winning at Iowa, the N on all the Nebraska football helmets stands for knowledge.