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Sepp Blatter re-elected as FIFA President, Twitter loses its collective mind

By Jonathan Bass

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Sepp Blatter was re-elected as FIFA President on Friday and the Twitter takes were HOT.

At this point in the game, Sepp Blatter’s tenure with FIFA resembles some amalgamation of John Gotti with the Gambino Family and the late, great Charlton Heston’s run with the NRA. He’s a teflon soccer don, and if you want to be FIFA President, you’ll have to pry it from his cold, dead hands.

Despite the feds seizing top-ranking officials affiliated with FIFA on Wednesday, and indicting them with racketeering and bribery charges. Despite waves of controversy surrounding the Qatar World Cup. Despite having been sued for gender discrimination, Blatter, one year shy of 80, defeated challenger Prince Ali bin al-Hussein on Friday to retain his presidency with FIFA.

As you can imagine, the hot takes from Twitter were flying in fast and furiously. Justice must be served, dammit. And if not by the voters, then by the collective snark and outrage of furious keyboarders. We’re going to take a look at some of the better quips to come from these reactions, but first here’s a cheesed off Bob Ley venting about FIFA.

And now onward to HOT TAKES.

And one for the road. Winner winner, chicken dinner.

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