NFL Week 2 Fantasy Football Studs and Duds: Eddie Royal Catches Three TDs, Reggie Bush Hurt Again
Duds:
Reggie Bush, RB, Detroit Lions – I don’t care how the Detroit Lions try and spin this, Reggie Bush is the real-life version of Samuel L. Jackson’s character from Unbreakable. He’s a failed scientific experiment, constructed out of Emmitt Smith’s balky hamstring. I can’t believe how high on the former Mr. Kardashian I was during the preseason. Did I forget that his bones are made from the same squishy substance swooshing around in Kim’s derriere? I think he should go ahead and patent the term “re-re-tweak” at this point. If Reggie is forced out of football due to injury, he’d be great in horror movies. He runs all over the places and always seems to break free… until he inevitably falls and gets hurt. He’s a real Wes Craven special, that one. Two words: Joique Bell.
David Wilson, RB, New York Giants – Tom Coughlin isn’t going to give him a baby to carry around, like he forced Tiki Barber to do. Maybe that isn’t what really happened, but whatever he did with Tiki worked. It always seemed like Coughlin wanted Tiki to work out, though. It also seems like he doesn’t want Wilson to work out. Coughlin is stubborn. It’s also possible that Brandon Jacobs has S&M dungeon pictures of the Giants coach doing his best “Channing Tatum from This is the End” impression. Wilson’s stock is as low as it can go, so wait until Coughlin realizes riding Wilson might be his only chance this year. Or until he gets those sexy snapshots back from his lumbering lovechild Jacobs.
Jared Cook, TE, St. Louis Rams – One catch for 10 yards? A meth cook could go out there and do that. This guy has to be the biggest example of pure talent breaking bad since Walter White. Just when we think he’s finally going to realize his birthright of superstardom, a bell rings and blows half of our fantasy face off. You’re not caught up to Breaking Bad Season Five yet? Too bad. Like Jard Cook, I’m inconsiderate and never, ever provide spoiler alerts, always ruining things. What a jerk (but if you aren’t watching the show, seriously, your bad). We’ve seen Jeff Fisher and Cook share the kitchen before, and they click about as well as Walt and Jesse. The match keeps teasing us with its tantalizing promise, but it just wasn’t meant to be.