Fansided

33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

By Matthew Miranda

FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski
FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski /
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Apr 8, 2016; Denver, CO, USA; Former Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning in attendance during the fourth inning of game between the San Diego Padres against the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 8, 2016; Denver, CO, USA; Former Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning in attendance during the fourth inning of game between the San Diego Padres against the Colorado Rockies at Coors Field. Mandatory Credit: Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports /

4. Peyton Manning

Peyton Manning is retired and likely not interested in giving up the storybook finish his career ended on, winning the Super Bowl in his final game. But if he wanted to come back, a few teams would be happy to have him. And when the zombies take over, a lot of people would be happy to have him on their side. His latest commercial with younger brother Eli shows why.

In the ad, the brothers are watching game film. Eli is munching away on a bag of chips, loudly. Peyton can’t stand it, ripping the bag out of Eli’s hands and telling him “You’re killing me.” The scene is presented lightheartedly, but it doesn’t take much digging to see the darker truth behind it. No matter who you are or what you’ve done in life, Peyton doesn’t care. It’s his way or the highway.

In the series finale of the TV show MASH, Hawkeye recounts the time a bus full of American military personnel and Korean civilians were hiding quietly, trying to avoid the enemy’s attention. A woman on the bus suffocated her chicken to keep it from making noise and attracting attention; later, Hawkeye breaks down and remembers it wasn’t a chicken, but a baby. That’s cold, but those are the decisions survivors face. Peyton Manning is a survivor. You want someone on your side to make the tough calls. Plus you know he’s got enough Papa John’s and Budweiser to last years and years.

Next: Tom Brady

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