33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski
FOXBORO, MA - AUGUST 11: Rob Gronkowski /
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CHARLOTTE, NC – AUGUST 26: Tom Brady /

3. Tom Brady

You know the accolades. Four-time Super Bowl champion. Three-time Super Bowl MVP. Two-time league MVP. 11 Pro Bowls. Third all-time in touchdown passes. Fifth in passing yards. The most playoff games ever played by a quarterback. The most playoff games ever won by a quarterback, too. To which your average zombie says, “Who cares?” Or, more likely, “Errrowwwrgh!”

Brady’s resume is meaningless in world overrun by the undead. But a world overrun by the undead has a way of blurring lines. Predator becomes prey. Shopping centers become epitaphs. Tom Brady becomes all things to all people. Some see a pathological cheater, others a laser-focused leader fixated on attention to detail and coming out on top.

You need to be all the things to get by in a zombie world. You’ll need to break some rules. You’ll need to pay careful attention to every little thing; forget to set one booby-trap or check one blind spot and you’re a goner. You’ll need to keep your eyes on the big prize because the only “win” there is in a world overrun is living to see the next day. Brady’s year-plus battle with commissioner Roger Goodell over his role in Deflategate is representative of a man able to direct his focus and energy on a single issue over a long period of time. You want that guy in your post-apocalyptic foxhole.

Next: T.J. Barnes