33 NFL Players To Help You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

2. T.J. Barnes

Barnes, a defensive tackle a few years out of Georgia Tech, has bounced around the NFL his first few seasons. While teams are still trying to figure out his value on the field, his value in the inevitable zombie revolution is (literally) enormous. In an apocalypse, you aren’t gonna be hitting up Trader Joe’s for free range turkey burgers. Ain’t no drive thru when you’re sleeping under the stars each night, huddled together with strangers for warmth, mourning the loss of electricity, drinking water and Pokémon Go. In a world without hope, light or heat, meat is meat.

T.J. Barnes weighs 364 pounds. That makes him one giant walking buffet for the undead. You want the biggest guy around on your side in any fight, but if Barnes did fall in battle, there’s a bright side for you: the zombies could feed on him for days, so distracted by their feast they don’t even notice you escape. Even if you’re one of the lucky few who survive for months, there’s a price to be paid. You’re gonna have to make some unexpected decisions about how far you’re willing to go to survive. Decisions you may never have imagined yourself considering before the zombies came. There’s little to no food. Meat is meat. Barnes is 364 pounds. You do the math.

Next: Rob Gronkowski